Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
