So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
