let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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