You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
