I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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