I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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