Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
