your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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