He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
