They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
