Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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