I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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