if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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