would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
