I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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