Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
