Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How does it feel to date your dad?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize