Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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