Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
