We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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