Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You're completely useless in the revolution.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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