Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
