My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
