i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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