She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
