I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
