I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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