Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
