Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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