everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
