i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
