My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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