Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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