well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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