So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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