Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm both gender and math confused
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
