I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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