They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
