I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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