I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just blew my weed a kiss
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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