Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize