I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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