He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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