youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
