How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
