HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
