By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
