and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
