I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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