the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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