I'm jealous of your bromance
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
