i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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