everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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