She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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