I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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