i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
