I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
