so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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