this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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