Can i not drive my cunt home
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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