I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We have so much sex to catch up on
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
