I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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