he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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